The Narcissistic Abuse Lexicon: 130 Terms Explained

Dark Triad and Related Personality Constructs

The Dark Triad (Narcissism, Psychopathy, Machiavellianism)
  The Dark Triad refers to three overlapping but distinct personality traits characterised by manipulation, self-interest, and a lack of empathy:

• Narcissism: Involves grandiosity, entitlement, and a need for admiration.
• Psychopathy: Marked by impulsivity, lack of empathy, and antisocial behaviours.
• Machiavellianism: Defined by strategic manipulation, deceit, and a focus on personal gain.

Overt Narcissism
  Overt narcissism, also known as grandiose narcissism, is characterised by visible arrogance, entitlement, and a craving for attention. Overt narcissists are often confident, charismatic, and dominating.

Covert Narcissism
  Covert narcissism, or vulnerable narcissism, is more subtle and involves traits such as hypersensitivity, passive-aggressiveness, and an underlying sense of insecurity. Covert narcissists often present themselves as victims or misunderstood individuals.

Malignant Narcissism
  Malignant narcissism is an extreme form of narcissism that incorporates antisocial behaviours, paranoia, and a sadistic tendency to derive pleasure from others’ pain.

Psychopath
  A psychopath is an individual with a personality disorder marked by lack of empathy, impulsivity, and disregard for social norms. Psychopaths are often manipulative and may engage in criminal behaviour without remorse.

Sociopath
  Sociopathy is similar to psychopathy but is generally associated with more impulsive, erratic behaviour and difficulty maintaining relationships. Sociopaths may exhibit some remorse or attachment, unlike psychopaths.

Sadist
  A sadist derives pleasure from inflicting pain or suffering on others. In the context of narcissism, sadistic behaviours may involve emotional or physical harm used to exert power and control.

Machiavellian
  Machiavellians are individuals who prioritise personal gain through strategic manipulation, deceit, and exploitation. They often view relationships as transactional and lack moral considerations in their decisions.

High-Functioning Narcissist
  High-functioning narcissists are individuals who successfully channel their narcissistic traits—such as ambition and confidence—into socially acceptable or even admired behaviours. However, their underlying lack of empathy and manipulative tendencies remain intact.

Relational Aggression
  Relational aggression involves indirect forms of harm, such as gossiping, exclusion, or sabotage, often used to damage another person’s reputation or social standing. Narcissists frequently employ relational aggression to maintain dominance.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences)
  ACEs refer to traumatic events or environments experienced during childhood, such as abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction. High ACE scores correlate with increased risks of mental health issues, including the development of narcissistic traits or vulnerabilities to abuse.

Neglect
  Neglect involves the failure to provide a child with basic emotional or physical needs. Emotional neglect in particular can lead to low self-worth, attachment issues, or narcissistic defences in adulthood.

Physical Abuse
  Physical abuse includes any deliberate infliction of harm or violence. Childhood exposure to physical abuse can contribute to trauma responses or maladaptive personality traits.

Emotional Abuse
  Emotional abuse encompasses behaviours such as humiliation, criticism, and manipulation, eroding a child’s sense of security and self-esteem. It is a common precursor to both victimisation and abusive behaviours.

Sexual Abuse
  Sexual abuse is the exploitation or violation of a child’s sexual boundaries, resulting in profound psychological and emotional trauma. Survivors often face long-term challenges in trust and self-worth.

Parentification
  Parentification occurs when a child is forced to take on adult responsibilities, such as caring for a parent or sibling. This dynamic can lead to issues with boundaries, identity, and emotional regulation in adulthood.

Stalking and Surveillance Behaviours

Spying and Stalking
  Spying and stalking involve intrusive behaviours such as monitoring the victim’s movements, communications, or activities to exert control or maintain a connection. Narcissists may use these tactics during or after relationships.

Cyberstalking
  Cyberstalking is the use of digital means, such as social media or email, to track, harass, or intimidate a victim. This is a common tactic of narcissists seeking to maintain control or retaliate.

GPS Tracking
  Some narcissists use GPS tracking devices or apps to monitor their victim’s location without consent. This tactic violates privacy and reinforces control.

Monitoring Social Media
  Narcissists may obsessively track their victim’s online presence, interactions, and posts to gather information, fuel jealousy, or prepare for future manipulative actions.

Relationship-Specific Dynamics

Codependency
  Codependency is a relational dynamic where one person prioritises the needs and desires of another over their own, often to the point of self-neglect. In narcissistic relationships, the codependent partner may become overly accommodating to the narcissist’s demands to maintain the relationship.

Enabling Behaviour
  Enabling involves actions that unintentionally support or perpetuate harmful behaviours. In relationships with narcissists, enablers may excuse, defend, or minimise the narcissist’s actions, often out of fear or dependency.

Emotional Affairs
  An emotional affair occurs when an individual forms a deep emotional connection with someone outside their primary relationship. Narcissists may engage in emotional affairs to manipulate, triangulate, or maintain a sense of superiority.

Financial Abuse
  Financial abuse is the use of money, assets, or financial control to dominate or manipulate a partner. Narcissists may restrict access to funds, accumulate debts in the victim’s name, or monitor every financial decision to assert power.

Sexual Coercion
  Sexual coercion involves pressuring or manipulating someone into unwanted sexual activity. Narcissists may use guilt, threats, or manipulation to exploit their partner’s sexual boundaries.

Identity Theft
  Identity theft occurs when a narcissist steals personal information to impersonate the victim or gain financial or social advantage. This tactic may be used as retaliation or control after the relationship ends.

Hoover Maneuver
  The hoover maneuver refers to attempts by the narcissist to “suck” the victim back into the relationship after a period of separation. This often involves love bombing, false apologies, or feigned vulnerability to regain control.
 

Narcissistic Traits and Related Behaviours

Grandiosity
  Grandiosity refers to an inflated sense of self-importance and superiority. Narcissists often exaggerate their achievements, talents, or influence to garner admiration and validate their self-image.

Sense of Entitlement
  A sense of entitlement is the belief that one deserves special treatment, privileges, or recognition without effort or merit. Narcissists expect others to prioritise their needs and may react with anger or manipulation when those expectations are unmet.

Lack of Empathy
  Narcissists exhibit a lack of empathy, making them indifferent to the feelings, needs, or suffering of others. This trait enables them to manipulate and exploit without remorse.

Pathological Lying
  Pathological lying is the compulsive habit of lying to manipulate, control, or maintain an idealised image. Narcissists may lie to protect their ego or evade responsibility.

Exploitative Behaviour
  Exploitative behaviour involves taking advantage of others for personal gain. Narcissists often view relationships as transactional and manipulate others to serve their needs or ambitions.

Arrogance
  Arrogance is the outward expression of superiority and disdain for others. Narcissists may dismiss or belittle those they perceive as inferior, further isolating themselves in their self-created hierarchy.

Psychological Projection Rebound
  This occurs when narcissists accuse others of their own negative traits or behaviours, such as dishonesty or selfishness. Projection helps them avoid self-awareness and shifts focus away from their actions.
  

Cultural and Social Contexts

Celebrity Narcissism
  Celebrity narcissism refers to narcissistic traits displayed or amplified by public figures. The fame and adoration associated with celebrity culture can foster grandiosity, entitlement, and exploitative behaviours.

Workplace Narcissism
  Workplace narcissism describes narcissistic behaviours in professional settings. This includes sabotaging colleagues, taking credit for others’ work, and dominating group dynamics to secure personal advancement.

Social Media Narcissism
  Social media narcissism is the tendency to seek validation and admiration through curated online personas. Narcissists may exploit platforms to gain attention, bolster their self-image, or manipulate others.

Collective Narcissism
  Collective narcissism involves an inflated sense of pride and superiority in one’s group, such as a nation, culture, or organisation. Members believe their group is exceptional but feel threatened by perceived criticism or lack of recognition.

Narcissistic Families
  A narcissistic family is one where the family dynamics revolve around the needs and desires of one or more narcissistic members. These families often feature rigid roles, enabling behaviours, and cycles of blame and favouritism.

Healing and Recovery

Trauma-Informed Care
  Trauma-informed care is a framework that recognises the prevalence and impact of trauma, ensuring that all aspects of care avoid re-traumatisation. It focuses on safety, empowerment, and building trust with survivors.

Emotional Regulation Techniques
  These are strategies to help individuals manage and process intense emotions. Techniques include mindfulness, deep breathing, and grounding exercises to restore emotional balance.

Self-Care Strategies
  Self-care involves intentional actions to promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Practices such as regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and restful sleep are crucial for recovery.

Grounding Exercises
  Grounding exercises are techniques used to connect individuals to the present moment, especially during emotional distress. Examples include focusing on sensory details, repeating affirmations, or performing light physical movements.

Journaling
  Journaling provides a safe space to explore thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It helps survivors process trauma, track progress, and identify patterns in their recovery journey.

Inner Child Work
  Inner child work involves reconnecting with and healing unresolved emotions or unmet needs from childhood. This practice fosters self-compassion and addresses the roots of trauma.

Vagal Toning
  Vagal toning refers to exercises that stimulate the vagus nerve, which plays a key role in regulating stress responses. Techniques include humming, tapping, singing, and deep diaphragmatic breathing.

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
  EMDR is a therapeutic approach that helps process traumatic memories through guided eye movements. It reduces the emotional intensity of memories, enabling survivors to heal.

Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping)
  Also known as EFT, this practice combines cognitive reframing with physical tapping on acupressure points to reduce anxiety and emotional distress.

IFS (Internal Family Systems)
  IFS is a therapeutic approach that explores the “parts” of the psyche, such as the inner critic or protector, to foster internal harmony and resolve trauma.

Somatic Experiencing
  Somatic experiencing focuses on releasing trauma stored in the body by increasing awareness of physical sensations and facilitating natural healing processes.

Body Scanning
  Body scanning involves paying attention to physical sensations throughout the body, promoting relaxation and awareness of tension or discomfort caused by trauma.

Fascia Release Therapy
  This practice targets the connective tissues (fascia) to alleviate tension and stress stored in the body. Techniques include massage, stretching, and gentle pressure.

Breathwork Techniques
  Breathwork involves controlled breathing exercises to reduce stress, regulate emotions, and improve overall mental health. Examples include box breathing and alternate nostril breathing.

Art Therapy
  Art therapy encourages creative expression as a way to process emotions and explore trauma. Drawing, painting, and sculpting are common modalities.

Music Therapy
  Music therapy uses rhythm, melody, and sound to improve emotional well-being. It helps survivors relax, express emotions, and build positive associations.

Guided Visualisation
  Guided visualisation involves imagining calming or empowering scenarios to reduce stress and promote healing. It is often used alongside mindfulness practices.

Nature Therapy (Ecotherapy)
  Nature therapy involves spending time in natural environments to improve mental health. Activities such as walking in forests or gardening help reduce stress and foster connection.

Trauma-Informed Yoga
  Trauma-informed yoga integrates physical movement with mindfulness, offering survivors a safe way to reconnect with their bodies and emotions.

Polyvagal Theory Practices
  These practices focus on regulating the nervous system through activities that engage the vagus nerve, such as humming, breathing, or gentle social interactions.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)
  MBSR is an evidence-based program that teaches mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and improve emotional regulation.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)
  PMR involves tensing and relaxing muscle groups to reduce physical tension and enhance awareness of bodily sensations.

Support Groups
  Support groups provide a safe space for survivors to share experiences, gain validation, and build a sense of community with others facing similar challenges.
 

General Psychological Terms

Emotional Intelligence
  Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, manage, and express emotions effectively, as well as to recognise and respond to the emotions of others. It is a key skill in building healthy relationships and navigating interpersonal dynamics.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
  CBT is a widely used therapeutic approach that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviours. It is effective in treating anxiety, depression, and trauma-related issues.

Schema Therapy
  Schema therapy is an integrative approach that addresses deep-rooted patterns of thinking and behaviour, often stemming from childhood. It is particularly useful for individuals with personality disorders or complex trauma.

Attachment Theory
  Attachment theory explains how early relationships with caregivers shape one’s ability to form and maintain emotional connections. Attachment styles, such as secure, anxious, or avoidant, influence behaviour in relationships.

Resilience
  Resilience is the ability to adapt and recover from adversity or trauma. Building resilience involves fostering emotional strength, supportive relationships, and coping strategies.

Empathy vs. Sympathy
  Empathy involves understanding and sharing another’s feelings, while sympathy involves feeling compassion or pity for someone’s situation. Empathy fosters connection, whereas sympathy can sometimes create emotional distance.

Boundaries in Relationships
  Boundaries are the limits individuals set to protect their emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Healthy boundaries are essential for fostering mutual respect and preventing manipulation.

Self-Compassion
  Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding during times of difficulty or failure. It is a powerful tool for countering shame and promoting healing.

Neuroplasticity
  Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to reorganise and form new connections throughout life. This capacity allows individuals to heal from trauma and develop healthier thought and behaviour patterns.

Shame Resilience
  Shame resilience is the ability to recognise, address, and overcome feelings of shame. Building shame resilience involves self-compassion, connection, and reframing negative self-perceptions.

Inner Critic
  The inner critic is the internal voice that judges and criticises oneself. It often stems from past experiences of criticism or shame and can be addressed through self-compassion and therapeutic work.

Assertiveness Training
  Assertiveness training helps individuals express their needs, opinions, and boundaries confidently and respectfully. It is particularly beneficial for those recovering from manipulative relationships.

Reparenting
  Reparenting is a therapeutic process where individuals learn to nurture and care for themselves in ways their caregivers may have failed to do. This approach helps heal unresolved childhood wounds.

In Alphabetical Order

ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) ACEs refer to traumatic events or environments experienced during childhood, such as abuse, neglect, or household dysfunction. High ACE scores correlate with increased risks of mental health issues, including the development of narcissistic traits or vulnerabilities to abuse.

Abuse Cycle The abuse cycle is a repetitive pattern in narcissistic relationships that includes three main stages: idealisation, devaluation, and discard. This cycle creates dependency and trauma bonds, keeping the victim trapped.

Anxiety Anxiety is a common psychological effect of narcissistic abuse, characterised by excessive worry, restlessness, and fear. Victims often develop anxiety as a response to unpredictable and harmful behaviours.

Arrogance Arrogance is the outward expression of superiority and disdain for others. Narcissists may dismiss or belittle those they perceive as inferior, further isolating themselves in their self-created hierarchy.

Art Therapy Art therapy encourages creative expression as a way to process emotions and explore trauma. Drawing, painting, and sculpting are common modalities.

Assertiveness Training Assertiveness training helps individuals express their needs, opinions, and boundaries confidently and respectfully. It is particularly beneficial for those recovering from manipulative relationships.

Attachment Theory Attachment theory explains how early relationships with caregivers shape one’s ability to form and maintain emotional connections. Attachment styles, such as secure, anxious, or avoidant, influence behaviour in relationships.

BIFF Communication Model (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) The BIFF model is a communication approach designed to handle high-conflict individuals. It emphasises keeping interactions Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm to de-escalate potential conflicts while maintaining boundaries.

Baiting Baiting involves provoking the victim into reacting emotionally, which the narcissist then uses to shift blame, play the victim, or justify their behaviour.

Blame-Shifting Blame-shifting redirects responsibility for negative actions onto the victim. Narcissists use this tactic to avoid accountability and maintain a sense of superiority.

Body Scanning Body scanning involves paying attention to physical sensations throughout the body, promoting relaxation and awareness of tension or discomfort caused by trauma.

Boundaries in Relationships Boundaries are the limits individuals set to protect their emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Healthy boundaries are essential for fostering mutual respect and preventing manipulation.

Boundary Violations Boundary violations occur when narcissists ignore or overstep personal, emotional, or physical limits. This behaviour reinforces their control and disregards the victim’s autonomy.

Breathwork Techniques Breathwork involves controlled breathing exercises to reduce stress, regulate emotions, and improve overall mental health. Examples include box breathing and alternate nostril breathing.

CPTSD (Complex PTSD) CPTSD occurs after prolonged exposure to trauma, such as sustained narcissistic abuse. It includes symptoms of PTSD along with difficulty regulating emotions, distorted self-perception, and interpersonal challenges.

Celebrity Narcissism Celebrity narcissism refers to narcissistic traits displayed or amplified by public figures. The fame and adoration associated with celebrity culture can foster grandiosity, entitlement, and exploitative behaviours.

Codependency Codependency is a relational dynamic where one person prioritises the needs and desires of another over their own, often to the point of self-neglect. In narcissistic relationships, the codependent partner may become overly accommodating to the narcissist’s demands to maintain the relationship.

Coercion Coercion is the use of threats, intimidation, or manipulation to force someone into compliance. Narcissists often use coercion to maintain power and control in relationships.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) CBT is a widely used therapeutic approach that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns and behaviours. It is effective in treating anxiety, depression, and trauma-related issues.

Cognitive Dissonance Cognitive dissonance refers to the mental discomfort experienced when holding two conflicting beliefs or values. In the context of narcissistic abuse, victims may struggle to reconcile the narcissist’s kind moments with their abusive behaviour, leading to confusion and self-doubt.

Collective Narcissism Collective narcissism involves an inflated sense of pride and superiority in one’s group, such as a nation, culture, or organisation. Members believe their group is exceptional but feel threatened by perceived criticism or lack of recognition.

Covert Narcissism Covert narcissism, or vulnerable narcissism, is more subtle and involves traits such as hypersensitivity, passive-aggressiveness, and an underlying sense of insecurity. Covert narcissists often present themselves as victims or misunderstood individuals.

Cyberstalking Cyberstalking is the use of digital means, such as social media or email, to track, harass, or intimidate a victim. This is a common tactic of narcissists seeking to maintain control or retaliate.

DARVO Technique (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) DARVO is a manipulation strategy where the narcissist denies their actions, attacks the victim, and reverses the roles of victim and offender. This tactic confuses the victim and shifts attention away from the narcissist’s behaviour.

Dehumanisation Dehumanisation is the process of treating someone as less than human, stripping them of their dignity and individuality. Narcissists may use this tactic to justify their abuse and maintain control.

Depression Depression involves persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and low energy. Victims of narcissistic abuse may develop depression due to prolonged emotional manipulation and loss of self-worth.

Devaluation Phase The devaluation phase occurs when a narcissist begins to criticise, demean, or withdraw affection from their victim. This phase follows the idealisation stage and is designed to erode the victim’s self-worth and maintain power.

Discarding Phase Discarding is the abrupt ending of a relationship by the narcissist once they perceive the victim as no longer useful. This phase often leaves the victim confused and emotionally devastated.

Discounting Discounting minimises or dismisses the victim’s experiences, feelings, or concerns. Narcissists use this tactic to undermine the victim’s confidence and perception of reality.

Dissociation Dissociation is a psychological response to trauma where individuals detach from their emotions, thoughts, or surroundings. This defence mechanism helps victims cope with the overwhelming stress of abuse but can interfere with recovery and emotional connection.

Emotional Abuse Emotional abuse encompasses behaviours such as humiliation, criticism, and manipulation, eroding a child’s sense of security and self-esteem. It is a common precursor to both victimisation and abusive behaviours.

Emotional Affairs An emotional affair occurs when an individual forms a deep emotional connection with someone outside their primary relationship. Narcissists may engage in emotional affairs to manipulate, triangulate, or maintain a sense of superiority.

Emotional Blackmail Emotional blackmail uses fear, guilt, or obligation to coerce the victim into compliance. This tactic manipulates the victim’s emotions to prioritise the narcissist’s needs.

Emotional Contagion Emotional contagion is the spread of emotions from one person to another, often unconsciously. Narcissists may impose their emotional states onto others to dominate or manipulate interactions.

Emotional Dysregulation Emotional dysregulation is the inability to manage or respond to emotions appropriately. Victims of narcissistic abuse may experience intense mood swings or difficulty processing emotions due to prolonged stress and manipulation.

Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping) Also known as EFT, this practice combines cognitive reframing with physical tapping on acupressure points to reduce anxiety and emotional distress.

Emotional Intelligence Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, manage, and express emotions effectively, as well as to recognise and respond to the emotions of others. It is a key skill in building healthy relationships and navigating interpersonal dynamics.

Emotional Regulation Techniques These are strategies to help individuals manage and process intense emotions. Techniques include mindfulness, deep breathing, and grounding exercises to restore emotional balance.

Empathy vs. Sympathy Empathy involves understanding and sharing another’s feelings, while sympathy involves feeling compassion or pity for someone’s situation. Empathy fosters connection, whereas sympathy can sometimes create emotional distance.

Enabling Behaviour Enabling involves actions that unintentionally support or perpetuate harmful behaviours. In relationships with narcissists, enablers may excuse, defend, or minimise the narcissist’s actions, often out of fear or dependency.

Enmeshment Enmeshment refers to overly close and controlling relationships where personal boundaries are blurred. Narcissistic parents may enmesh their children, discouraging independence and fostering dependence.

Exploitative Behaviour Exploitative behaviour involves taking advantage of others for personal gain. Narcissists often view relationships as transactional and manipulate others to serve their needs or ambitions.

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) EMDR is a therapeutic approach that helps process traumatic memories through guided eye movements. It reduces the emotional intensity of memories, enabling survivors to heal.

Fascia Release Therapy This practice targets the connective tissues (fascia) to alleviate tension and stress stored in the body. Techniques include massage, stretching, and gentle pressure.

Financial Abuse Financial abuse is the use of money, assets, or financial control to dominate or manipulate a partner. Narcissists may restrict access to funds, accumulate debts in the victim’s name, or monitor every financial decision to assert power.

Flying Monkeys Flying monkeys are individuals who the narcissist manipulates to do their bidding, often unknowingly. These enablers may spread the narcissist’s smear campaigns, pressure the victim, or undermine the victim’s credibility, reinforcing the narcissist’s control and isolating the victim further.

Future Faking Future faking occurs when a narcissist makes grand promises about the future to gain trust and compliance, with no intention of following through.

GPS Tracking Some narcissists use GPS tracking devices or apps to monitor their victim’s location without consent. This tactic violates privacy and reinforces control.

Gaslighting Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic where the narcissist distorts reality, causing the victim to doubt their perceptions, memories, or sanity. Over time, gaslighting erodes the victim’s confidence and self-trust.

Gaslighting-by-Proxy Gaslighting-by-proxy occurs when a narcissist recruits others to question the victim’s reality or perpetuate manipulation. This tactic isolates the victim and intensifies confusion.

Golden Child The golden child is the favoured family member who receives excessive praise and privilege. Narcissistic parents use this dynamic to create division and maintain control within the family.

Grandiosity Grandiosity refers to an inflated sense of self-importance and superiority. Narcissists often exaggerate their achievements, talents, or influence to garner admiration and validate their self-image.

Grey Rock Technique The Grey Rock technique involves making oneself as uninteresting and emotionally unresponsive as possible when interacting with a narcissist. This strategy reduces the narcissist’s ability to extract emotional reactions or control.

Grounding Exercises Grounding exercises are techniques used to connect individuals to the present moment, especially during emotional distress. Examples include focusing on sensory details, repeating affirmations, or performing light physical movements.

Guided Visualisation Guided visualisation involves imagining calming or empowering scenarios to reduce stress and promote healing. It is often used alongside mindfulness practices.

High-Functioning Narcissist High-functioning narcissists are individuals who successfully channel their narcissistic traits—such as ambition and confidence—into socially acceptable or even admired behaviours. However, their underlying lack of empathy and manipulative tendencies remain intact.

Hoover Maneuver The hoover maneuver refers to attempts by the narcissist to “suck” the victim back into the relationship after a period of separation. This often involves love bombing, false apologies, or feigned vulnerability to regain control.

Hoovering Hoovering is a tactic where the narcissist attempts to re-engage or pull the victim back into the relationship after a period of separation. This often involves false promises, apologies, or love bombing.

Hypervigilance Hypervigilance is a heightened state of awareness and anxiety, often seen in victims of abuse. It manifests as constant scanning for potential threats or emotional triggers, even in safe environments.

IFS (Internal Family Systems) IFS is a therapeutic approach that explores the “parts” of the psyche, such as the inner critic or protector, to foster internal harmony and resolve trauma.

Idealisation Phase The idealisation phase is the initial stage of a relationship where the narcissist elevates the victim through excessive praise, affection, and attention. This creates dependency and sets the stage for later manipulation.

Identity Theft Identity theft occurs when a narcissist steals personal information to impersonate the victim or gain financial or social advantage. This tactic may be used as retaliation or control after the relationship ends.

Inner Child Work Inner child work involves reconnecting with and healing unresolved emotions or unmet needs from childhood. This practice fosters self-compassion and addresses the roots of trauma.

Inner Critic The inner critic is the internal voice that judges and criticises oneself. It often stems from past experiences of criticism or shame and can be addressed through self-compassion and therapeutic work.

Invisible Child The invisible child is neglected or ignored by the narcissist, often left to fend for themselves emotionally and physically. This neglect fosters feelings of worthlessness and abandonment.

JADE Technique (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) JADE is not a tactic of narcissists but a guideline for victims. It advises against Justifying, Arguing, Defending, or Explaining oneself to a narcissist, as doing so fuels their need for control and prolongs conflict.

Journaling Journaling provides a safe space to explore thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It helps survivors process trauma, track progress, and identify patterns in their recovery journey.

Lack of Empathy Narcissists exhibit a lack of empathy, making them indifferent to the feelings, needs, or suffering of others. This trait enables them to manipulate and exploit without remorse.

Love Bombing Love bombing is the practice of overwhelming someone with excessive affection, attention, and gifts to create dependency and emotional attachment. Narcissists use this tactic during the idealisation phase of a relationship to establish control.

Love Withdrawal Love withdrawal involves withholding affection or attention as a form of punishment. This tactic fosters dependency and forces the victim to conform to the narcissist’s demands.

Machiavellian Machiavellians are individuals who prioritise personal gain through strategic manipulation, deceit, and exploitation. They often view relationships as transactional and lack moral considerations in their decisions.

Machiavellianism: Defined by strategic manipulation, deceit, and a focus on personal gain

Malignant Narcissism Malignant narcissism is an extreme form of narcissism that incorporates antisocial behaviours, paranoia, and a sadistic tendency to derive pleasure from others’ pain.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) MBSR is an evidence-based program that teaches mindfulness techniques to reduce stress and improve emotional regulation.

Mirroring Mirroring is the act of imitating another person’s behaviours, values, or interests to build rapport and establish trust. Narcissists use mirroring during the idealisation phase to create a false sense of connection.

Monitoring Social Media Narcissists may obsessively track their victim’s online presence, interactions, and posts to gather information, fuel jealousy, or prepare for future manipulative actions.

Music Therapy Music therapy uses rhythm, melody, and sound to improve emotional well-being. It helps survivors relax, express emotions, and build positive associations.

Narcissism: Involves grandiosity, entitlement, and a need for admiration

Narcissistic Families A narcissistic family is one where the family dynamics revolve around the needs and desires of one or more narcissistic members. These families often feature rigid roles, enabling behaviours, and cycles of blame and favouritism.

Narcissistic Injury A narcissistic injury is the emotional pain or humiliation narcissists feel when their self-esteem or grandiosity is threatened. This can trigger defensive behaviours like rage or withdrawal.

Narcissistic Rage Narcissistic rage is an intense, disproportionate anger response to perceived criticism, rejection, or threats to the narcissist’s ego. It often manifests as verbal outbursts, emotional manipulation, or silent treatment.

Narcissistic Stare The narcissistic stare is an intense, unsettling gaze often used by narcissists to intimidate or exert dominance. This nonverbal behaviour is a tool for establishing control in interactions.

Narcissistic Supply Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, and validation narcissists crave to maintain their self-esteem. Supply can be positive (e.g., praise) or negative (e.g., anger or fear), as long as it reinforces their sense of importance.

Nature Therapy (Ecotherapy) Nature therapy involves spending time in natural environments to improve mental health. Activities such as walking in forests or gardening help reduce stress and foster connection.

Neglect Neglect involves the failure to provide a child with basic emotional or physical needs. Emotional neglect in particular can lead to low self-worth, attachment issues, or narcissistic defences in adulthood.

Neuroplasticity Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to reorganise and form new connections throughout life. This capacity allows individuals to heal from trauma and develop healthier thought and behaviour patterns.

Overt Narcissism Overt narcissism, also known as grandiose narcissism, is characterised by visible arrogance, entitlement, and a craving for attention. Overt narcissists are often confident, charismatic, and dominating.

PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) PAS occurs when one parent manipulates a child into rejecting the other parent. Narcissistic parents often use this tactic to punish or control their co-parent, damaging the child’s emotional well-being.

PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) PTSD is a mental health condition that develops after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, and emotional numbness, often affecting victims of narcissistic abuse.

Parentification Parentification occurs when a child is forced to take on adult responsibilities, such as caring for a parent or sibling. This dynamic can lead to issues with boundaries, identity, and emotional regulation in adulthood.

Pathological Lying Pathological lying is the compulsive habit of lying to manipulate, control, or maintain an idealised image. Narcissists may lie to protect their ego or evade responsibility.

Physical Abuse Physical abuse includes any deliberate infliction of harm or violence. Childhood exposure to physical abuse can contribute to trauma responses or maladaptive personality traits.

Playing the Victim Playing the victim is a strategy where narcissists present themselves as wronged or misunderstood to gain sympathy and deflect responsibility for their actions.

Polyvagal Theory Practices These practices focus on regulating the nervous system through activities that engage the vagus nerve, such as humming, breathing, or gentle social interactions.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) PMR involves tensing and relaxing muscle groups to reduce physical tension and enhance awareness of bodily sensations.

Projection Projection is a defence mechanism where the narcissist attributes their own unacceptable feelings, motives, or behaviours to others. For instance, a narcissist accusing someone of lying may be projecting their own dishonesty.

Psychological Projection Rebound This occurs when narcissists accuse others of their own negative traits or behaviours, such as dishonesty or selfishness. Projection helps them avoid self-awareness and shifts focus away from their actions.

Psychopath A psychopath is an individual with a personality disorder marked by lack of empathy, impulsivity, and disregard for social norms. Psychopaths are often manipulative and may engage in criminal behaviour without remorse.

Psychopathy: Marked by impulsivity, lack of empathy, and antisocial behaviours

Relational Aggression Relational aggression involves indirect forms of harm, such as gossiping, exclusion, or sabotage, often used to damage another person’s reputation or social standing. Narcissists frequently employ relational aggression to maintain dominance.

Reparenting Reparenting is a therapeutic process where individuals learn to nurture and care for themselves in ways their caregivers may have failed to do. This approach helps heal unresolved childhood wounds.

Resilience Resilience is the ability to adapt and recover from adversity or trauma. Building resilience involves fostering emotional strength, supportive relationships, and coping strategies.

Role Reversal Role reversal occurs when a narcissistic parent forces their child to take on the role of caregiver or emotional support. This dynamic robs the child of their childhood and fosters long-term emotional challenges.

Sabotage Sabotage involves intentionally undermining the victim’s efforts, goals, or relationships to maintain control and prevent independence.

Sadist A sadist derives pleasure from inflicting pain or suffering on others. In the context of narcissism, sadistic behaviours may involve emotional or physical harm used to exert power and control.

Scapegoat The scapegoat is the family member targeted for blame and criticism by the narcissist. This individual often bears the brunt of the narcissist’s frustrations and serves as a release for their negative emotions.

Schema Therapy Schema therapy is an integrative approach that addresses deep-rooted patterns of thinking and behaviour, often stemming from childhood. It is particularly useful for individuals with personality disorders or complex trauma.

Self-Care Strategies Self-care involves intentional actions to promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Practices such as regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and restful sleep are crucial for recovery.

Self-Compassion Self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding during times of difficulty or failure. It is a powerful tool for countering shame and promoting healing.

Sense of Entitlement A sense of entitlement is the belief that one deserves special treatment, privileges, or recognition without effort or merit. Narcissists expect others to prioritise their needs and may react with anger or manipulation when those expectations are unmet.

Sexual Abuse Sexual abuse is the exploitation or violation of a child’s sexual boundaries, resulting in profound psychological and emotional trauma. Survivors often face long-term challenges in trust and self-worth.

Sexual Coercion Sexual coercion involves pressuring or manipulating someone into unwanted sexual activity. Narcissists may use guilt, threats, or manipulation to exploit their partner’s sexual boundaries.

Shame Resilience Shame resilience is the ability to recognise, address, and overcome feelings of shame. Building shame resilience involves self-compassion, connection, and reframing negative self-perceptions.

Silent Treatment The silent treatment is a form of emotional punishment where the narcissist withdraws communication to exert control. This tactic creates feelings of anxiety, guilt, and rejection in the victim.

Smear Campaign A smear campaign involves spreading false or exaggerated information to tarnish the victim’s reputation. Narcissists use this tactic to isolate victims, gain sympathy, or discredit them in the eyes of others.

Social Media Narcissism Social media narcissism is the tendency to seek validation and admiration through curated online personas. Narcissists may exploit platforms to gain attention, bolster their self-image, or manipulate others.

Sociopath Sociopathy is similar to psychopathy but is generally associated with more impulsive, erratic behaviour and difficulty maintaining relationships. Sociopaths may exhibit some remorse or attachment, unlike psychopaths.

Somatic Experiencing Somatic experiencing focuses on releasing trauma stored in the body by increasing awareness of physical sensations and facilitating natural healing processes.

Spying and Stalking Spying and stalking involve intrusive behaviours such as monitoring the victim’s movements, communications, or activities to exert control or maintain a connection. Narcissists may use these tactics during or after relationships.

Stonewalling Stonewalling is the refusal to engage in communication or resolve conflicts. Narcissists use this tactic to frustrate their victims and avoid accountability.

Support Groups Support groups provide a safe space for survivors to share experiences, gain validation, and build a sense of community with others facing similar challenges.

Survivor Guilt Survivor guilt occurs when victims feel responsible for leaving an abusive situation or for the harm experienced by others who remain. This guilt can complicate recovery and foster self-blame.

The Dark Triad (Narcissism, Psychopathy, Machiavellianism) The Dark Triad refers to three overlapping but distinct personality traits characterised by manipulation, self-interest, and a lack of empathy:

Trauma Trauma is the emotional and psychological damage caused by distressing experiences. Narcissistic abuse often results in complex trauma due to the chronic nature of manipulation and control.

Trauma Bond A trauma bond is an emotional attachment that forms between a victim and their abuser due to cycles of abuse and intermittent reinforcement of affection. This bond makes it difficult for the victim to leave the relationship despite the harm.

Trauma Response A trauma response refers to the physical and emotional reactions to traumatic events. Common responses include fight, flight, freeze, or fawn behaviours, which victims of narcissistic abuse may exhibit.

Trauma-Informed Care Trauma-informed care is a framework that recognises the prevalence and impact of trauma, ensuring that all aspects of care avoid re-traumatisation. It focuses on safety, empowerment, and building trust with survivors.

Trauma-Informed Yoga Trauma-informed yoga integrates physical movement with mindfulness, offering survivors a safe way to reconnect with their bodies and emotions.

Triangulation Triangulation involves introducing a third party into a relationship to manipulate dynamics, create jealousy or competition, and maintain control. This tactic often fosters mistrust and isolates the victim.

Vagal Toning Vagal toning refers to exercises that stimulate the vagus nerve, which plays a key role in regulating stress responses. Techniques include humming, singing, and deep diaphragmatic breathing.

Victim Blaming Victim blaming involves holding the victim responsible for their abuse. Narcissists use this tactic to deflect accountability and maintain power in the relationship.

Workplace Narcissism Workplace narcissism describes narcissistic behaviours in professional settings. This includes sabotaging colleagues, taking credit for others’ work, and dominating group dynamics to secure personal advancement. 

Lots of Love / Ami