What!?

That’s what my partner said when I read him this draft. He got triggered and was really upset with me. He said “The purpose of life is to give meaning to life. He knows his purpose, the “why” and his driving force in his work. He’s even worked with that for many years, helping leaders and companies understand their why, their purpose and direction. 

He continued to tell me that the reason people are unhappy is because they lack meaning, they walk around like zombies or float around without a compass and a north star. How could I come and say that you can be happy without knowing your purpose! That went against everything he had learnt, taught and believed in over the last couple of decades.

I realise that my statement can be perceived as controversial, but bare with me and I will explain it to you.

It’s a hot topic, there are over a hundred thousand book titles that talk about how you can find your passion and, or, your life purpose. 

We have been sold this idé that we should have a main passion, something that we are good at and that our purpose in life, our calling, and that our mission on earth is turning that passion in to work or a full time hobby.

In the self improvement, success striving, productivity oriented, consumer based society in which we live, yes it is very important to have a purpose. 

If we however look at it from a much deeper, spiritual or philosophical viewpoint, we don’t need to do anything, be anyone, be anywhere or achieve anything in order to be happy. 

Happiness and love is our foundation, our essence, our divine nature. 

The purpose of life is to live it, to just be and to know thyself.

But that is not in contrast to being passionate about things, to have a purpose and create meaning. That is something that often happens automatically, once you start to awaken to your true nature. 

If you are curious and feel it would be fun to figure out your passions and purpose, here are some questions that can help you with that.

Actually, I’d like us to talk about energy instead of passion. The word passion has a lot of charge attached to it, and the meaning of the word can easily be interpreted in far too many ways. 

To find your purpose and passion you could try to identify what it is that energise you, what makes you happy. Ask yourself: 

• When do I feel energised? 
• When do I feel happy?
• When do I lose myself in the now? 
• When am I open and curious like a child? 
• When am I in the flow? 
• What do I have a natural gift for, what am I good at with little effort?
• When do I get out of your head and move naturally? 
• In what moments or circumstances do I feel peaceful? 
• When do I have a nice warm feeling in my heart?
• What do I know today, that I wish a much younger version of myself would have known?
• If you had all the money and things you wanted, if all of your problems were taken care of, if you were freed from all of your responsibilities and nothing was expected from you, what would you do, visit or learn just for the fun of it?  
  

That will be an indication of what energises you. Follow that good energy.

It’s also important to keep in mind that if you notice what you have a gift for, to not judge it, thinking that it’s not that important or that you would like another gift instead. Don’t think about if it will make you money and bring you fame, nor that you have to accomplice something great and significant in the world. Just follow what makes you happy and what energises you.

Thing is that once you have identified what it is, don’t ignore it or put it on hold. When we ignore our calling we suffer

Follow it, practice it, learn about it, get better at it, teach it.

How do you identify and pick only one passion to be your life purpose?

What about if you have ADHD or are a renaissance man or woman like I am, with many passions, many things that you love doing and are good at doing? 

I’ve been constantly pressured since my teens, by a myriad of people and society in general, to just pick one out of all my passions and only focus on that. But it’s impossible for me. 

I’m really passionate about photography, well most creative forms of expression really, like painting, sculpting, welding, make up and body painting, making jewellery etc, untouched nature, the sea, massage and alternative therapies, tantra, sexual energy, healthy food and natural remedies, dance, yoga, diving and snorkling, hiking, animals, travelling and connecting with different cultures, cooking, children, meditation, self knowledge and spirituality, metaphysics, feminism, human rights, music, innovation, arkitektur and interior design, theatre, music and dance performances, art exhibitions, living off the grid, extreme survival, flying…just to mention a few hahah. 

I have also worked with many of these passions.

Zooming out, I asked myself what they have in common and why I love these things. 

I found two main categories; 

One where the focus is on seeing people and children, making them feel like they matter, assisting them with their self esteem, self love, giving them hope and inspiration. That gives me a feeling of service, purpose and connection. 

Working as a coach, photographer, as a therapist and previously also as a spa manager, make up artist, hair stylist, art teacher and english teacher, that’s what I was doing. 

The other category is where I lose myself in the now, get in the flow, don’t think and refuel my batteries. Being creative, in untouched  nature, emerged in the sea, making love, dancing, practising yoga, watching natural as well as man made beauty, connecting with animals and hanging out with children energises me and puts a smile on my face. 

Having identified two categories that energise me, makes it easier to understand my passion and purpose, instead of just seeing hundreds of seemingly separate and random things. Try doing the same, if you like me hav many things that energises you and that you are passionate about.

What if you don’t feel passionate about anything at all?

If you have ever been depressed, suffered from fatigue, anxiety or panic attacks, being in touch with or identifying your passion is not really an option when you feel empty, scared and drained.

Thinking about finding your passion or life purpose when you feel like that, only tends to make it worse, increasing your inner stress. 

Especially if you feel that you need to know your passion and purpose, in order to feel better, then it becomes a catch 22.

The reason you feel lost, unfulfilled and unhappy has little to do with you finding your passion and purpose, according to me. 

That will all come naturally once you have addressed some other things first.

I’d say you feel lost, unfulfilled, unhappy, stressed, anxious, worried and depressed because: 

1. You don’t really know yourself, you have forgotten about or overlooked your core, your essence, your divine nature.

2. You experience the world, life, others and yourself through a thick layer of filters. Filters consisting of your masks and roles to fit in and be loved and accepted or to not disappoint people, your strategies to get what you want and need, your armour and shields to not get hurt and your programming and experiences from your childhood.

3. You identify with external factors that have nothing to do with your essence.

4. You have resistance to the present moment, have ideas about the now and are constantly commenting, comparing, judging, explaining, justifying, blaming, naming, categorising, trying to figure out what it means, drawing parallels, making it personal about yourself, wanting to repel something or attract someone, instead of being open and experiencing that which is, in a factual, neutral way.

5. Your actions and choices come from ego and are based on fears, strategies, dreams, desires and addictions.

6. You take your thoughts too seriously, believe in them and identify with them.

7. You try to escape from feeling pain and do everything to avoid the “negative” feelings.

8. You have not looked at and healed your traumas, understood your triggers and reactive patterns or faced your shadow side.

A lot of people also confuse passion for egoic desires and addictions. 

Sure, those might give you a dopamine high, an adrenalin kick and an ego boost, but it’s not going to help you feel fulfilled in the long run.

Most of us look for our purpose and passion because we don’t feel good and we think it will make us happy and life will make sense. 

But when we don’t feel the passion, can’t narrow it down or can’t seem to find our purpose, we tend to feel worse and our inner stress can escalate. 

Then I can recommend having a look at these 7 main keys to self love and happiness, that has helped me tremendously. 

The 7 main keys to inner peace, self love and joy.

1. De-programming, the process of unlearning and de-identifying with things that other people have told you about yourself and the world. The big cleanup of old assumptions, negative beliefs, false identifications as well as understanding your triggers, behaviour patterns, addictions and external identifications. 

2. Landing or grounding yourself in the present moment as often as you can remember, by becoming aware of your breath, your senses or bodily sensation. 

3. Observing your thoughts and learning to non take them so seriously. 

4. Daring to bravely feel that what is, becoming friends with the now, even when painful.

5. Identifying your values and living as authentically as possible. 

6. Giving thanks to the things that you are grateful for.

7. Getting to know your essence, focusing on the conscious presence, the subject that is experiencing and observing everything, instead of getting caught up in and identified with all the external objects.

By following these guides, you will lower the volume of your monkey mind so you can hear your heart clearly. You will be able to see if your passion is driven by ego or if it comes from presence, from your heart. 

Automatically  you will follow that which energises you and that will become your purpose, and guiding star, even if the road is rocky and it takes some time to crystallise. 

If you are interested in finding out more about those 7 keys and the tools, exercises and enquiries that helped me go from traumatised and anxious, to feeling self love, inner peace and with a passion for life, click on the link below.

Get in contact If you would like guidance, support and inspiration, personally, in a closed group or in our community, get in contact with me directly and tell me a bit about yourself, what you are struggling with and how you would like to feel. 

Lots of love from me to you!