Can Two Narcissists Be Happy Together?

Author: Ami Elsius

Yes, I believe it’s possible, but only in rare circumstances.

Narcissists, who typically lack empathy and thrive on admiration and control, often struggle to maintain any genuine relationship or “partnership.” However, there’s a scenario where two narcissists could stay together if their needs align well enough and if both parties gain something highly valuable to them, such as fame, money, or status.

In such a relationship, the foundation isn’t love or empathy but rather a shared understanding of mutual benefits. Each person would need to feel they’re “winning,” with the other enhancing their status or image. They may avoid the usual power struggles by operating within a clear, unspoken agreement to serve each other’s self-interests. As long as neither threatens the other’s sense of superiority or control, they might avoid the overt conflicts typical of relationships involving narcissism—especially if they can shine in separate areas that don’t threaten but instead add value to each other.

Young Gabor Maté in black and white, looking thoughtfully into the distance

Example 1:

 Catherine may not be the most conventionally attractive woman, but she owns a renowned advertising agency, with one of her main clients being a five-star hotel brand. Her boyfriend is a young, attractive photographer who, before meeting Catherine, had no significant photo gigs. Thanks to her connections, he gains a huge career boost, travels the world, and mingles with VIPs. Catherine, in turn, feels beautiful, privileged, and special, basking in thousands of likes and comments on her social media from people envying her luxurious, globetrotting lifestyle with her good-looking boyfriend.

Example 2:

Roberto is a dealer of extremely high-end cars and limited-edition luxury watches. He’s “new money,” a bit rough around the edges, and has a criminal background. Antonietta, by contrast, is “old money” with a royal lineage. Due to her father’s gambling addiction, she lost her inheritance and finds herself “poor” compared to her former lifestyle. With Roberto, she maintains the illusion of wealth and status. Roberto, in turn, benefits from her social connections, gaining credibility, acceptance, and access to high-status circles that he could never reach alone.

This setup is reminiscent of Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffrey Epstein, but rather than revolving around sex, it involves status, influence, and material gains. Another rare type of narcissistic partnership occurs when two people with dark personality traits join forces to exploit others. This is sometimes seen in cults, religious extremism, political movements, sex trafficking, or even in cases involving crimes like kidnapping or abuse.

“Narcissists are like a bucket with a hole in the bottom. No matter how much you give and give, it will never be enough.”

 

Some other toxic couples that can be interesting to look into:
  1. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow
  2. Rosemary and Fred West
  3. Ian Brady and Myra Hindley
  4. Jim Jones and Marceline Baldwin Jons
  5. Charles Manson and Several of His Followers
  6. Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka
  7. Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun
  8. Elizabeth Holmes and Ramesh “Sunny” Balwani

    The Biggest Victims of Narcissistic Couples

    The biggest issue arises when they have children or bring children into the relationship. Growing up in a household devoid of genuine warmth and empathy can be incredibly damaging. These children may experience intense emotional neglect or feel pressured to conform to their parents’ image, seeing love as conditional or transactional. This lack of emotional security and attachment can profoundly impact their future relationships and self-worth.

    While this kind of relationship setup can be “stable” in a purely functional sense, it’s tragic for anyone who genuinely needs care, connection, and support.

    Photo of Ami Elsius; for The Soulful Blog: Awakening, Healing, & Holistic Wellness
    Diverse and authentic tribe of community members in a collage for The Ami Effect, showcasing holistic healing and transformation.

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